Painted Bride Quarterly’s Slush Pile

Episode 91: Daydream Believer

June 9, 2021

Daydream Believer


Listen in as pop culture, nostalgia, and formal craft converge in a discussion of poems by Jeff Royce. As of this recording “we are not the epicenter,” but it feels as if we have all the time in the world as the pandemic spirals on just outside the sound of our voices. Royce has us remembering The Monkeys and Lava Lamps, recalling Larkin’s famous insight that “They F&^% you up, your mum and dad,” and imagining angel trumpets and panthers (both Rilke’s famous panther poem and Teju Cole “On The Blackness of the Panther”). It’s all about resonances and craft, slushies. (Or resonances and interventions:  Dear Queer Eye crew, Kathleen needs a home-office resurrection!). If you are looking for more fabulousness, Kathleen recommends two podcasts, Jonathan Van Ness’ “Getting Curious” and Sam Sanders’ “It’s Been a Minute.” Samantha suggests the film Now and Then. Jason is loving Andrea Lawlor’s Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl


This episode is brought to you by one of our sponsors, Wilbur Records, who kindly introduced us to the artist A.M.Mills. The song “Spaghetti with Lorraine” opens our show. 


Jeff Royce lives and teaches in South Florida. He is elaborately married with two refreshingly complicated daughters, though he is less enthusiastic about the two dogs and fat lizard who also live with him.  Jeff was social distancing before it was cool.


At the Table:  Jason Schneiderman, Samantha Neugebauer, Kathleen Volk Miller, & Marion Wrenn







Her chirps and caterwauling are

the echoes of an empty sanctuary.

She lowers her stare, pulls back

the fat of her mouth, but the growl


rumbles in from another pen.

Thunderheads build on backs

of roseate spoonbills, restless

in the next enclosure.


Their pink shadows and the stink

of flamingo shit are enough to remind me

my heart is a muscle.


Near the reptile house, wooden manatees

drift on an ocean of organs.

The music is coming from somewhere else.





Man hands on misery to man.

  It deepens like a coastal shelf.

                                                   --Phillip Larkin


It began with horseradish in her mashed potatoes,

her father slipping it in before dinner.

(It began much earlier I suppose.


But this is my mother we’re talking about, younger and thinner

and unaware that fathers can be cruel.)

She dove in without sniffing, and since that day something within her


grew guarded and deep. They met in high school--

my father and she, I mean. She let him kiss her breasts

only through her shirt, so he imagined each one a jewel.


Think of the let down when he saw them undressed,

not cut as he’d expected them to be,

not flawless as the ones he had caressed


under her blouse. He learned to live with them, though; he

learned how not to ask for very much,

to ignore her responsibly.


Her body arched, in dark, under his touch.

They fumbled dutifully until it hurt.

My brother soon was born, a crutch


to hold my mother up. But he wouldn’t wear a skirt.

She cried until her shoes were damp,

and my father taught him how to play in dirt.


Let’s try again, she begged--words pressing like a stamp

on my brother’s soft head--and I, too,

was pushed into this world like a rudderless tramp.


I’ll never know for sure if this is true.





I have this 1960’s sitcom desire

to frolic on the back lawn.

Our shirts will be fashioned after white sides

of ranch style houses.

Our hearts will take shapes

of plastic Adirondack chairs.

The kids can blow bubbles that’ll satellite the shed

like little acrylic space shuttles.

In the linen-scented afternoon, the backward-stumbling sunlight

will brighten angel trumpets,

drooping polished shuttlecocks

swinging like clean sheets in the here-&-there breeze.

& I’ll pick one for you, & you’ll remark

that the day has smelled just like a fresh haircut,

then you’ll kiss my cheek with the same precision

with which you clip coupons

& the girls, giddy from so much Frisbee,

will roll their eyes & mock our tenderness,

& we’ll chase them & they will feign terror

& scream like they mean it,

& we’ll prolong their terror by pretending to just miss them,

but eventually we’ll tackle them & splash onto the lawn

which has always been just weeds.

We’ll lie there breathing for a while, the four of us,

our heads forming a circle in a way

I imagine might have made an excellent cover for a Monkeys album,

before one of us, probably me, will spot the vultures circling,

not menacingly, but in a shiftless, existential sort of way,

drifting on lava-lamp currents, & I’ll note

how they resemble jets, not in shape

but in the way how we feel about them flies out in front of our voices.

& then someone, probably you, will say,

We are, after all, sitting in weeds, & I’ll say,

What? & the girls will squeal & scramble to the badly cracked patio

where they’ll pick beggar ticks from one another’s backs,

& by now it’s dusk dark

& a fat tarantula moon is crawling up over purplish clouds.

Then, Shit, what’ll we do about dinner?

&, Papa, I still have homework to finish!

& Goddamnit, why are you crying? Stop crying!

& you tell me we don’t even have an angel trumpet tree,

& your breath smells like sparklers,

& the sparklers, in the black air, are scrawling something

that vanishes before I can get it.

I don’t get it, I say, & you say,

You never get it, & I say,

Just go to bed, you can do it in the morning.

& I put a movie on so we can all sleep

& we eat popcorn & freezer pops for dinner, & I tell the kids,

That’s life, & they’re like,


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